You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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