i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am midnight drunk by noon
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
