dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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