well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
