Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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