I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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