we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
