This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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