...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
