I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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