I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
