But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
