Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize