she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
