I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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