My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
