Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
