Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
