I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
