Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So apparently I’m into choking now
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
