Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
