Nicole vs. Life
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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