we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
why do cheetos always look like penises
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize