I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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