Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
