So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
