Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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