shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
