Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
