Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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