You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize