She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry about my life...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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