its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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