We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
