Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
