Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
