toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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