just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize