I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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