thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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