just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i want to swaddle you in tequila
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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