So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
