I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think a kid would responsible me up
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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