fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
