did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
