Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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