I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He passed out mid-signature
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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