youre lurking in front of me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize