I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
