my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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