...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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