Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
how does that bad decision feel?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
