In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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