sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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