using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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