sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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