How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
