I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Two words: nipple clamps
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