Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
