when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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