So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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