he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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