Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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