i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dicks are not precious.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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