I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
