im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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