i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
