she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
