please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize