he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
