i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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