I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize