my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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