He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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