As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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