He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
