No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize