The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
