I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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